‘Jokes’
“A Mind is like a parachute,
It doesn’t work if it’s not open. “
A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married?
The gentleman Replied: “Well, I guess I just never met the right woman … I guess I’ve been looking for the perfect girl.”
“Oh, come on now,” said the friend, “Surely you have met at least on girl that you wanted to marry.”
“Yes, there was one girl .. once. I guess she was the one perfect girl. The only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything .. I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me.”
“Well, why didn’t you marry her,” asked the friend.
“She was looking for the perfect man,” he said.
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”
The man below says: “Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude.”
“You must be an engineer” says the balloonist.
“I am” replies the man. “How did you know.”
“Well” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of
your information, and the fact is I am still lost.”
“You can’t just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
What mood is that?
Last-minute panic.”
― Bill Watterson
Hermione pervaded over Patriarchy and Sexism.
“My play was a complete success.
The audience was a failure.”
Ashleigh
“The amount of energy necessary to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it.”
Alberto Brandolini
“My sources are unreliable,
but their information is fascinating.”